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Victoria

Writing Elephant

Kitty Savior and Groban look alike

I’ve been in a Josh Groban mood lately. I feel like his original music is very uplifting and encouraging, something I’ve needed much of lately. 

In my last post I had eluded to suicide. I struggle with these thoughts regularly, to the point I am looking into seeing a counselor. My stress level is at all all time high and these types of thoughts creep there way back into my heart. Alone they scare me because I know how powerful they can be.

A few years ago my loveable Sebastian awoke my sleeping fiancĂ© just as I was about to get out of bed to harm myself. If he hadn’t woken up and moved from my fiance’s arms, I might not be here today. I owe my life to the both of them.

It helps me to remember this when those thought being to be too much.

Sometimes even that doesn’t help, so I turn to music. I turned to Groban’s music because Evan and I are dancing to “When you say you love me” as our first dance. I started with that one and it slowly migrated to the Spotify Groban channel. I have listened to it all week, and will probably continue to do so for the next 38 days.

When I am really feeling down I turn to Groban’s “You are loved” as a reminder that I have special people in my life, one of which has four paws and a tail. The closer and closer we get to my wedding day the more stressed I feel, which harbours these feelings even more so. I hope it gets better!

I’ll leave you with the lyrics to what moved me to write this piece.

Don’t give up
It’s just the weight of the world
When your heart’s heavy
I…I will lift it for you

Don’t give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you
I…I will break it for you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don’t give up
Because you are loved

Don’t give up
It’s just the hurt that you hide
When you’re lost inside
I…I will be there to find you

Don’t give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you
I…I will shine to guide you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don’t give up
Because you are loved

You are loved
Don’t give up
It’s just the weight of the world
Don’t give up
Every one needs to be heard
You are loved

Josh Groban

On a weird high note: can I mention how much my fiance looks like Josh Groban? Because he totally does!

Thank you all so much for reading!

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