Yesterday I had a weird feeling, one I couldn’t quite put my finger on. It was an odd mixture of guilt and sadness at the idea of changing my last name.
I had always wanted to take my husbands name ever since I could remember wanting to be married. I was the girl who used to write “Mrs So-and-so” on her notebook when she had a crush. I was that kid. I don’t think it really hit home that I was actually changing my name until my manager ordered me new business cards. Seeing it outside of home in black and white… it was kind of nerve-wracking.
I had to ask someone else if this feeling was normal so I happened to ask the only person I was seeing yesterday, my esthetician. We were in the process of my brazillian bikini wax when I blurted my question after not so graciously confirming she was married.
“I think everyone goes through that,” she eased one anxiety while removing the wax strip. “When I got married I had this weird sort of grief about changing mine too. I considered hyphenating, at my boss’s mention on how much he liked my maiden name, but ultimately decided not to.”
Talking to a live person and not someone over the Internet made me relax about my prenuptial nerves. It’s totally normal. There is an odd connection you can get when you talk to people, some times the connection isn’t strong and you exchange mild pleasantries. But yesterday I felt a genuine connection with Andrea, even as she was waxing my lady parts. I hope she doesn’t mind me sharing a bit of what happened yesterday with the internet, I couldn’t help but tell future brides and remind myself that this is a huge step towards something more than just being yourself.
Readers I know I haven’t posted in five days, which in blogging life is almost like an eternity, but I have been hard at work finalizing everything for my wedding in three days.
I become a Mrs. in three days. Holy. Shit.
I’ll see you when I’m officially Victoria Lawrence!