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Writing Elephant

That moment you realize you are actually an adult. 

I’m talking like an actual adult. Not an 18 or 21 year old “adult”. I make my own doctors appointments and only cringe once at the cost. I would rather stay in and read with a nice glass of wine. I go to bed around 9 and need coffee or tea to survive the morning. I cleaned, almost happily, on a Sunday.

Who am I?

I know this is silly, but it is honestly odd thinking that I have made it to 25 and am finally not acting like a moody teenager. A few years ago I wasn’t sure I would see 25. Moments like these remind me that I have survived everything was supposed to break me. Those moments where I felt unloved and desperate for relief are gone.  I still have episodes of uncertainty and when I feel lost, but I am no longer playing Hamlet. I am mad and losing it slowly, but I am stronger than I once was. I’ve mentioned on here how I had once attempted to end my own life.

I survived that.

Moments like these make me realize that people are stronger than we think. It’s also times like this where we realize who stands by us and who fades away. I look to my best friends and see the two strong women fighting against all odds. I see my sister-in-law doing the same. All these women building themselves and their young children up in a harsh world. I am in good company. And when I have children I have mentors to help.

My next great adventure awaits! Although I’m scared, I will take each day as it comes. I just hope after 25 years of a downward slope roller coaster, that I finally get to see the horizon from the top of the world.

If anyone else is in a quarter century slump, just know it’s totally normal!

2 comments on “Getting close to a Quarter Century

  1. Hi!
    This is a great personal post. I’m glad to hear that you didn’t take your own life. I have struggled with that in the past as well.
    As for being a SNHU student, I just graduated from there with an MA in Creative Writing, (I found this blog through the Writing at SNHU Facebook page). Good luck with everything, I look forward to reading more of your stuff!


    1. Thank you soo much! And congrats on the degree, that’s a huge accomplishment!

      Liked by 1 person

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